Quez (quez) wrote,

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Time to think

Every once in awhile I get into a funk about what I am doing with my life. Things can be going on fairly well, and this will happen. For the last several years I have gone through a pattern where I am either extremely busy and generally enjoying that fact or in between busy points and at a loss on how to fill the time and therefore anxious. I'm not fooling myself into thinking that only activity makes me happy, that way lies the lonely work-a-holic. I think I am happy when I don't have time to think about what I am missing. When I do have time, trying to find what is missing more often highlights how what I have found is not it. This is starting to affect my sense of self and it isn't good. What the hell am I beyond my needs and questionable wants.

This is the kind of thing I could contemplate over a dozen beers with friends, but I can't do that anymore. I don't feel like I am being straight with any one person anymore. So, I feel cut off from the tools to work through this. Maybe I should just leave town for a awhile.
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